When can I contact the person again? How long should I wait?

The word “breakup” can easily be associated with something negative. It can evoke sympathy, it can bring sorrow and tears you never thought possible. The feelings you may be feeling right now hurt so much that you forgot what it felt like to feel …well “normal”. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep. Thoughts of your ex and the good times you had together come at you like a cage fighter.

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Are You A Distancer or A Pursuer?

The common reality in these types of relationships is very simple. Think of it this way. How many out there have had a friend call you usually once a week just to chat and yap about their week and what is going on in their lives and they do this on a regular basis. You are USED TO IT. It becomes what we call “customary”. It is a common routine that you receive a phone call and you pick up and start chatting like you always have, No biggie right?

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You Don’t Bring Me Flowers

There are so many out there that can not only read these lyrics, but they have LIVED them. The song itself is talking about the love that what once was. We have all been there. We can listen to love songs and feel our hearts swell because we have placed value as well as people in the roles that were once played in our lives.

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Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad

Several of us, you know who you are, feel that midnight promises gone by dawn will make the difference in convincing someone back to you. It won’t work. Have you ever heard of the story about the boy who cried wolf? It’s about a young shepherd-boy who claims there is a wolf prowling around his flock of sheep 3 times when in all reality there wasn’t. In the process, a nearby hunter would come running to his rescue only to find the child laughing. The last time the boy cried wolf, there WAS a wolf and the hunter feared it was again a prank and didn’t come. The flock was eatten.

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But My Situation Is Different

Just because you feel euphoric doesn’t mean the other person does. Be yourself and don’t ask questions…just relax and let it be. Nothing scares another person more than questions about the relationship.

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The Game of Tag

In new relationships, like children, we believe our new partners word for word. There is no reason NOT to. We listen and say “Wow…that is great, or “you are an incredible person”. In retrospect, we are all incredible people but where does all that go once the relationship starts to get serious and then the routine starts to get….well…old.

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The Rubber Band Effect

Ever wondered why your ex is “acting that way” or why they are treating you differently now? Ever wondered why they get back in contact with you after months of no contact and they STILL keep you at arms distance? Ever wondered why they “give you signals” yet they can’t commit to you? If you can relate to these types of questions, sit back and relax. Everything is going to be fine. Turn on the ole’ brain and lets continue on shall we?

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Falling In Love With Regret

So often we get side tracked with our jobs, our lives, our friends, or our desire to be happy, accepted, validated and most of all loved, that we forget who WE are. Sometimes we ask ourselves “How did I become so needy?” or “Am I not good enough anymore?”. My question is “Why?” Why do we have to feel as if our very core, our soul, needs to be validated by someone who just really isn’t into you anymore?

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How Do I Know if “No Contact” Is Working?

What does NC do? No contact allows you to reflect ( usually where you wanted to or not) You suddenly feel like you are imprisoned because all you have is time….time to think about what happened. It’s sad to say that if we spent the time focusing on WHAT happened and we tried to put it INTO the relationship BEFORE the initial issues …maybe we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

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Pass the Popcorn because the circus is about to begin

Everyone has fond memories as a child or as an adult of going to the cricus. When I was a kid, I loved it….The lights, the acts, the acrobats, the animals, the popcorn…It was just dazzling. As a five year old, the clowns were my favorite.

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