Have you ever wondered while having a rough relationship issue, why you felt the way you did? Where does all the sadness come from? How come at the drop of a hat, the tears can pour out of your eyes and start to flow down your cheeks like little raindrops. The question is why?
I know the scientific reason but how drab. We turn on the news and see tragedy everyday. We often tell ourselves “Oh how horrible for them”…as we give it 3 seconds thought and go on about what we were doing.
Life and experience go hand and hand in my opinion. My beliefs are that you make the best of life with what you have. In my own life, if I didn’t have something I wanted, I want it more and I tend to work harder at achieving my ultimate goal….to have it. It can be a car, a house, a new outfit, a new guitar…let your mind go wild.
As human beings, we all get in a huge hurry to have everything NOW…
Fast food…fast cars…microwave this…10 minute abs…eyeglasses in an hour…the list goes on and on. Most everyone has a cell phone that they can not only communicate through talking…but can also text and take photos…
We want it soon..we want it fast….and we want it now. I am going to give you a bit of a secret that you might now realize because it is against everything society teaches us….its just the way the world has become.
The secret is….sometimes we need to STOP and smell the roses.
What this old expression means is….sometimes we have to slow down…breathe in and out and take in the beauty around us. When we are in a hurry, we can miss a beautiful sunset, we can walk right by a blooming flower, we can overlook the puffy, white clouds in the sky…
Sometime when we get in such a rush…we forget about things….we tend to make more mistakes because we are furiously trying to finish for the sake of being done, rather than take your time, analyze the problem and then create a solution….no matter what the problem.
Nature itself has a way of slowing us down….
We can’t surface too quickly from the depths of the ocean because of the pressure…
We can’t run thru caves to get to the other side…if there is one
Forrests can be thick with brush and wood…we must take our time in order not to be lost, hurt or even killed…
Weather can also be a factor in slowing us down….
Those who know me from this forum assume sometimes that I am a hero of some sort; that I am someone special because I got back together with my ex and I post advice almost weekly and sometimes daily. The fact is I am a simple guy…not a doctor….not a therapist…..I am just me. I am here to tell you one of my secrets. Ya can’t buy it in a book…I would NEVER change you for it….it will change you life if you accept it…and its something you have always known.
SLOW DOWN….take your time and think about what your doing.
This is a healing forum…not getting back together but this secret also applies. There may be days where you don’t even want to get out of bed….there may be days when you think you feel better and then the next you feel even worse than when you first began. I have been there….I have done that and come out clean and clear on the other side.
You may be sitting there feeling better about your situation today….you may feel worse….I have NO idea what you are going thru but I can tell you this…If you let it, it will ALWAYS GET BETTER.
I want you all to konw something from the bottom of my heart. When I tell you that things will get better…I speak from experience…not just empathy. We have all heard the same thing over and over from those who think they are helping us feel better with phrases like:
There are other fish in the sea..
There are 1000 of men/women out there that woudl kill for a person like you…
They just didn’t know what they had…
Any girl/guy would kill to be with you….
Yadda yadda yadda….
Ladies and gentlemen…when I say “Things will get better”..I indeed mean it 100%. I have been on my knees crying my eyes out and in time and making myself realize that it is about me…..that I was able to get off my knees…..stop crying and stand tall. I am the man I am today because of it.
I am not arrogant, I am not against getting back together with an ex, I am not anyone special…I do NOT have all the answers..I do NOT expect you to follow my advice. I am here of my own free will doing what I can to maybe touch the heart of at least one person out there that needs it. We all want to be heard and appreciated for what we bring to the table…
Our thoughts..
Our talents…
Our very lives…
Our values..
The list goes on and on. You are somebody. You are somebody that matters to not JUST ONE PERSON….you matter to so many and you may not realize it because of the way you feel right now. If you are sitting there in your room ..in the dark…with tears in your eyes…and yelling at the monitor “NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME!!” …I am here to yell back at you….
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!!!! There are thousands of people all around the globe that come here to listen..to write..to find answers…to find friends …to find a solution…to give friendly advice but the fact is…WE ARE HERE TOGETHER.
If you feel as if you don’t matter..your wrong. If you feel betrayed and lonely….your not. I am here with you….you can ask any question ya want..or I can just sit here and read what you have to say…but you are not alone.
You matter. You may feel down and out because of a breakup or divorce….you may wonder what your next move is..you may be thinking as you read this that maybe a divorce is what you need or maybe DON’T need. Should you breakup with your lover? Should you try and reconcile?
What is the answer?!?!? What should I do?!!?!? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!
The answer is simple…..SLOW DOWN…take your time (if you can). Look up at the sky and see the clouds…smell the flowers, watch the children playing in the park…listen to the ocean waves if you can…just slow down.
Think before you make any decisions. You may be happy..you may be lonely and unhappy…you could be on the verge of a major decision but you need to stop and think about it…think about the cause and effect of the solution you create for yourself and situation.
You can accomplish anything you want ladies and gentlemen….if you want it badly enough….NOTHING but NOTHING could ever stand in your way.
I am a firm believer in you can’t make people love you, but you sure can make them NOT love you. Begging, pleading, jealousy, arrogance, narcissism, calling too much, texting, too many questions you expect to be answered, IM’ing, facebook, myspace….
LET IT GO…stop pushing and let the dust settle. Let time heal your wounds of the heart. Time and self-love can cure almost anything. There are those out there that don’t believe in loving yourself. Years ago, I was trying to use other people to fill my OWN void of not loving me 100%. Sadly, those relationships failed EVERY TIME.
I believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe in the law of attraction…within reason BUT I DO NOT BELIEVE AT ALL IN the thought process of “If I do this…they will DO/THINK this”. If you think for one moment that healing comes quickly…..you’re wrong. Ever skinned your knee? How long did a physical injury take to heal? A few weeks maybe? Now throw your heart in the mix….you mind will play back all the good times you had….you will at first want them back ….ya can’t sleep, ya can’t eat…you feel hopeless. Does that take just a few weeks to heal…
You tell me………mine took over two years. I was still skeptical even after we got back together…but she earned me back. Her actions were consistent and what I wanted all along.
Ladies and gentlemen of theLoveLogic….you can get thru whatever your personal demons are. It will take you some time but it will start getting better. I am living proof.
If you are thinking you don’t know what love is anymore…I have a few perfect examples that love is alive and well and does exsist despite what you may be feeling.
Get a hug from a child….let them wrap their arms around you and hold tightly…
Look around any park, mall, airport, beach, restuarant.etc etc…and watch elderly couples. They still hold hands, they still open car doors if they are able to for one another, they still have that magic and love between them…
Listen to and Tony Bennett album…you will smile just hearing his voice…
Read anything Shakespeare..
Two words…Luciano Pavarotti….
Look in your neighborhood for a man buying flowers…
At night, look for couples that still dress up…go out and have a good time.
You can still have all of this….your life is not over…NOT BY A LONG SHOT!!!
I am with you all the way if you need me….and I have an army of caring people right behind me. SMILE!!! and the world smiles with you!!
I believe in God…and his loving ability to handle all things including my life. I trust in God and to him I am forever forgiven and blessed.
I leave you with these words…You are loved…now, tomorrow and forever
1 Corinthians 13- The Holy Bible
Love is Patient
Love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.
It is not discourteous,
it is not selfish,
it is not irritable,
it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth
It covers all things,
it has faith for all things,
it hopes in all things,
it endures in all things.
Love never falls in ruins;
but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or
tongues, they will cease; or
knowledge, it will be superseded.
For we know in part and we prophecy in part.
But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded.
When I was an infant,
I spoke as an infant,
I reckoned as an infant;
when I became [an adult],
I abolished the things of the infant.
For now we see through a mirror in an enigma, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I was fully known.
But now remains
faith, hope, love,
these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Your friend,
SuperDave71
thelovelogic
I absolutely love this…for some reason I was on the verge of tears when I read it. Thanks for writing it.
forreal, u just made my day :]