It’s over.
As quickly as it may have started, it has come down to something you may or may not have wanted to end. The mixed feeling come over you like a floodgate swinging open and it hits you full force knocking not only the wind out of your sails, but it resets your heart to believing it was all your fault.
Blaming solves nothing. Regardless of what happened, you must realize that you are human. We all make mistakes but it’s the lessons we learn from our mistakes that are the key to future possibilities.
I must say, on this forum we are quick to use No Contact when it comes to a breakup. Why? Because contacting an ex after a fight or breakup can be like throwing salt on an already open wound. The common questions swirl through your head. Amazingly enough, we ALL have the same questions of a breakup or divorce regardless of our race, background, religion or geographical location. We are all human. We all share emotions that we sometimes don’t know how to handle. A breakup, especially when not expected, can hit you like a car slamming into you at a four way stop. The shock takes over but its your reaction that ultimately creates your possible future outcome.
For example:
For those out there who care to share with the forum, I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to reason with an ex. Do the following sound familiar?
1. “If you only give me another chance, things will be different”
2. (A week passes) “But I have changed”
3. “I need you”
4. “I love you”
5. “I can’t make it without you”
My question is simple…HOW?
1. How will things be different?
2. How have you changed?
3. How much do you need me and why?
4. How much do you love me?
5. How can you NOT make it without me?
Ladies and gentlemen, this is reality; not a scripted movie or drama you see on television. The reason we use phrases like this is
1. We don’t know any better
2. It works on TV and the movies
“You complete me” <— How do I complete you?
I have said it many times and I will say it again. Love doesn’t turn off like a light switch. It can fade but it never disappears. For those who believe you ex has moved on, it is possible but if it is soon after a break, it is likely NOT the case. Think of it this way…
The breakup occurred because of something or a series of events leading up to the break. Please don’t get me wrong, sometimes we wake up one day and realize this is NOT the person you had expected or WANTED to expect them to be. We all have our expectations. When we first meet someone we like, they can do no wrong. They tend to be “different” than others you have dated or met.
The silly thing is..OF COURSE THEY ARE. You have that “gut feeling” automatically that they could be “the one”. The honeymoon stage lasts for months and suddenly…
without warning…
the masks come off. You reveal who you REALLY are and they do the same. There is no need to work so hard anymore when it comes to love. (I don’t believe this for a second) Love takes work. Just like when you buy something new that you have scrimped and saved, you finally have it…and you love it. Months go buy and suddenly a newer model comes out and you want it because you assume its feature are going to be better than what you already have. The item is the same…a television is a televison…you have the ability to watch TV but the size is different, the features are different, the look is different but its STILL a television.
We tend to NOT appreciate things UNTIL THEY ARE GONE OR DAMAGED. Why can’t we understand this simple concept? NO everyone is to blame but we must always take responsibilty for the things WE have done. If we neglected someone or used them (on purpose or not) we must face the consequences of our actions.
What if it wasn’t our fault? What if you did everything you could do and it STILL wasn’t good enough? The fact is, it wasn’t good enough for them…NOT you. We will always be the one’s that will end up saying “I should have…or could have done so much more for my ex.”
WHY?
When we bend over backwards for the one’s we love over and over and over again and all they do is complain, it’s never good enough, they criticize you or even blame you for THEIR problems, why do we take on their burden? Because we love them? Maybe…but I think it has to do more with HOPING they will change. Sometimes we fall in love and stay in love with people because of what we WANT or HOPE they will be and NOT WHAT THEY REALLY ARE.
Hope is a good thing. There is nothing in the world more powerful than hope EXCEPT love. No one ever said that true love was easy. It takes work ON BOTH SIDES. It’s a compromise. It’s a dance where two people take turns leading and following. Let go of the notion that love won’t come back if you let it go. Not true at all in my book. I didn’t say it would be with your ex, but love finds you. No matter where you are…or who you are for that matter…love will sneak up on you when you least expect it.
You may be down right now and NOT thinking of falling in love again but I can tell you, our family here at theLoveLogic is the best out there. You cannot find a better group of caring, compasionate individuals in the world. We are here for you. We never close and you never have to fel alone.
Love will find you again. Let go of the pain in your heart and you will find a smile again. The beautiful thing about love is that though you may not love your ex again the way that you had hoped; that road has come to an end. The miracle begins when you realize that though the road has ended…your journey has just begun. You have many paths to choose from. Only you can decide so choose wisely.
All you have to do is take your first step…
Your Friend,
SuperDave71
thelovelogic