In our darkest hours, fear tends creep into our hearts and takes root. It convinces us to give up all hope and abandon all thoughts of what used to be. Happiness becomes a thing of the past and our hearts begin to turn cold but not by our own choice. The world as we know it becomes a different place. The love we thought would be ours forever is over. Fate, as it seems, dealt you a bad hand and you are left with the emptiness and sadness that was once filled with the love that was once yours. Was it all a dream? No, you tell yourself, I just wasn’t strong enough for love to stay.
No matter your current situation, things will always get better. Who wants to hear after a breakup that there are other fish in the sea? No one wants to believe that true love is really dead and that there isn’t a hope of reconciliation. The princess and prince of all fairy tales live happily ever after.
-True love never dies-
How many times have you sat and blamed yourself over circumstances beyond your control? Did you ever purposely sabotage your relationship in order to feel the way you do now? I think not. Words cannot express the emptiness a broken heart brings but we have all felt it. We have all felt that hollow in our chests. The world suddenly becomes a cloudy and dismal place. Memories become your solace and your heart aches because the love you had is over. Will they dream of me? Will they ever understand how much I love and need them? If they only knew what it is I feel inside, they would have never stopped loving me. They broken-hearted rational is only there to attempt to convince yourself that they will come back. They loved you once and soon they will realize what they are missing. The reality is that you hope underneath all the fear and tears that they are thinking exactly the way you are.
No one can ever give you advice on how to feel after a breakup. No matter if they have the best intent, only you can feel the way you do. The real question is how long are you going to choose to feel the way you do?
**Read that last part again**
Listen to my words, you have control over you. If you want to get lost and caught up in your own sadness and think you are not worth loving then I hope you can find solace in knowing you are not alone and nor is the world out to prove you’ re the only person in existence that cannot find or feel love in its truest form.
In my opinion, people have forgotten how to interact with one another. We text, email, rely on social networking in order to communicate yet we forgot what it is to be interpersonal. Our coping skills are less than they ever were. Take a pill for your ill instead of coping with the very thing you possibly could control if you just tried. We all want our problems to just go away. No one wants to suffer from heartache any more than they want to suffer from any horrific disease or genetic condition. To learn how to ground yourself is to open your eyes to what it is that living is about. You may have lost love (for now) but you are loved. You have the audacity not to look at what love you do have in order to suffer with the love you don’t. From the day you were conceived, someone has loved you. Chances are, over the years, that love has grown through family and friends. We all have our support system. These forums alone have thousands of strangers reaching out to other strangers all over the world in order to get advice from others that want to help. Just because we are from different backgrounds, geographical locations, religions and race doesn’t mean we all want what every wants…and that is to be loved and appreciated for who we are.
No one says it’s easy to suffer a broken heart but it gets easier when you put your life into perspective. I know it hurts right now. Remember that just because the day is cloudy doesn’t mean the sun isn’t there. We have to look beyond our boundaries. To deal with grief and heartache is merely a stepping stone in handling what it is to be alive. Sure it hurts for now but like death we will all have to go down the same road someday. You are no different. Life is what you make of it. Use the time you have wisely. No one in the world is to blame but you. If you believe in a higher power, take comfort in knowing God created millions of people for you to learn from. Take the time to love yourself and learn from others. Stop trying to convince yourself that your life is over because someone chose to leave. Chances are you had no say so in their decision but you do have 100% say in what it is YOU do and feel.
There is no magical formula in getting someone to come back. What I can tell you is so simple you probably won’t believe it at first but I know that those that respond to this post can attest. What brings someone back is love. Not the love you have for them now because they left but the love you showed them because you did love them with all your heart. No one on earth can take away true love. Looks fade and people change but truelove has NO boundaries. Even death cannot change what it is to be loved. Take my advice and learn that though these are just words, that I love you all. If I didn’t care, though I am a familiar name, I wouldn’t continue to post my thoughts and lessons I have been blessed to share. I am a stranger. I am a simple guy that has a huge heart and I want others to not agree with my opinions but to reflect upon them.
If your heart is broken, I will pray for you. I have been there. I have been on my knees and didn’t know how to get up because the loss of love took the life right out of me. I was given the strength to rise above my heartache. It wasn’t easy but I am proof you can do it. All you have to do is start believing in yourself. No one says you have to stop hoping love will return. You have to make that change in order for someone to WANT to come back. The secret is to do it for you and not for someone else. Why you ask? Because if you change for someone and they leave once again, they take what you changed for in the first place. If you change for you, they can NEVER take that away.
We all need improvement. Love isn’t perfect but it takes practice. Take the focus off of what you don’t have and pace it on what it is you DO have. When you ground yourself, you will start to open your eyes to the bigger picture. To put it into perspective, chances are you will live to see tomorrow regardless if you have a broken heart or not. There are those out in the world who are not worried about a broken heart but are wondering if they will see tomorrow. You will love and live to see another day. You may not see it in front of you but understand that things do not happen because you want them to; you have to make them happen. How is this possible? Plain and simple, you can’t make people love you but you can surely make them NOT love you. To work on your confidence, positive attitude and self-worth are all you need in order to make love find you once again. The key is to understand that love has standards. Love is attracted to confidence, not arrogance. Love is attracted to those that are motivated in attaining a goal but understand where they came from. Love is attracted to those that show compassion rather than empathy. Love is attracted to love. If you don’t love yourself, then love will be deterred.
Putting a band-aid on fixing yourself is like flying a kite in a tornado…it will be very short lived and other will see right through you. Self-improvement takes time. NOT other people’s time but your own. Quit putting a time table on love. If you are still trying to convince yourself that you have to get someone back quickly because someone else is in the shadows, then you have already lost. You are trying to get back a possession rather than love itself. Love is not a possession but a positive feeling between two or more people. If love cannot be reciprocated between BOTH parties, then it will never work. Take the time limitations off of your goal and you will be freed mind, body and soul to deal 100% with you rather than someone else. Lift the burden of changing you in order to be loved by someone else. Ask yourself ONE VERY IMPORTANT question.
**Would they do the same for me?**
If you answer no, then let go and learn from your time together. Close the chapter in order to write a new one. Life is nothing more than a series of lessons. If we don’t learn from those lessons, what have we truly learned? Stand up tall because today is a new day. The sun still shines despite your heart and head trying to convince you otherwise. Just because you can’t see tomorrow doesn’t mean you can’t change it or make it better than today. Learn that every day you choose to grow in a positive direction, even without the one you love, doesn’t mean you are not making progress.
Do they still dream about you? With all that I am, I hope that they do.
Let go of doubt, fear and hopelessness in order to let your light shine through.
I believe in you. It’s about time you believed in yourself.
Your Friend,
SuperDave71
Great post.